Thankfulness is defined as “the feeling of being happy or grateful because of something.”  Tis’ the season to look forward to spending time with loved ones, family and friends and for experiencing joy and being festive.  Thanksgiving usually elicits thoughts of food, family, celebration, and love.  But what happens when the holiday season and the time to be thankful is just the opposite for you?  What if you do not feel happy, or joyful, or you are in a difficult season.  Sometimes this time of year can bring up sorrow and disdain because of loss, hardship, loneliness, or a string of hardships (financial, relational, etc.).  So how do you deal with this?

First know this: You are not alone.  This time can be hard for many people AND even if you were the only one, YOU MATTER.   So, let’s talk about how to navigate through this season.

1.     You get to feel how you feel-whether its happy, sad, or somewhere in between.  Acknowledge and accept how you feel no matter what it is.  If you try to avoid it or feel ashamed, then feelings tend to linger.  Ultimately your feelings demand to be dealt with, you either deal with them or they will deal with you. 

2.     You have the power to choose-along with accepting how you feel, also know you do have some control.  You have control in how you choose to proceed during this time. So, whether you choose to spend time with others, who you spend time with, whether you isolate yourself, engage in activities that help you improve or achieve your goals, perpetuate negative circumstances and coping skills, etc. it’s all up to you.

3.     You cannot control others-which means you cannot make anyone do anything or not do anything.  However, you can control how you react.  It also means while people can influence us, they cannot Make us do things or react in certain ways-only we can do that. Please do not give anyone that much power. 

4.     You can create an atmosphere of thankfulness- remember the last time you felt a sense of thankfulness and what led to that.  Now erase the circumstances and imagine how you felt internally? What made the difference in how you felt?  Close your eyes, imagine the feeling, imagine that place-everything about it-how it looked, the smells, what you heard?  Know it is possible to feel that same sense of joy because if it happened once, it can happen again. 

5.     You can get your needs met-sometimes we are at our best when helping others because when we focus outward, we can see things from another perspective.  Additionally, let’s go a little further. One of my favorite questions is-if your body could talk what would it say it needs?  If you took the time to assess what you need, can you do that? Maybe its time away, maybe its calling and talking to the person who will tell you the truth, maybe it’s fresh air, maybe it’s getting financial advice, or maybe it’s helping and shining your light for someone else-whatever it is, take the time to do that thing and do not delay!